I saw my aunt today at Bible study, yes people I said Bible study, that will be a discussion for a different day. See my aunt is 15 years older than my mom, the mom I haven't talked to in 12 years, so we were never very close, my grandmother is the one that pulled us all together. Anyways Grandma is no longer here and I am realizing just how much distance I am allowing to grow in my family. My aunt lives 10 minutes away from me, has for the last two years, she has been at my house twice....ever....and once was while Grandma was staying with her. So every few weeks at Bible study we go through this charade...."how are you?" "Good" " I know I feel bad too" "I really should call you" "we really should get together"......What is that?????????? She is my blood, I may hate her at times for still talking to my mom, but really why don't I have a desire to maintain a relationship with this woman....because right now I feel like that's all it is....a blood relation, not an emotional one. How is it I could be so close to my Grandma and so could she but the two of are SO distant? That is my question for the day.......
4 comments:
Oh my we have a lot in common. I have a huge extended family and know none of them. Haven't seen my grandparents since I was very little. I haven't even talked to my father since about 1998 (that's a huge story). I see my mom about 5-6 times a year and my brother about the same even though they live about 1 1/2 hours away. It was less before Twinkle.
I too have no emotional connection to family members. Mom tells me about people, who has died etc and it doesn't mean a thing to me. I don't think it's unusual to have a disconnect if people haven't been in your life. Blood doesn't create the bond, it's memories and sharing.
I swear I could bump right into my family members and not even know who they are...sad huh?
I really don't think you should feel obligated to have someone in your life JUST BECAUSE you have genetics in common.
This is always a bone of contention between me and hubby. He NEEDS to see his parents like every other week. They live about 10 minutes away. Me, I don't feel that kind of pull.
I think I know too much about this situation to comment. But I will say, you should not feel obligated to have a connection with someone just because of genetics...
I don't care much about genetics, but for myself, my main impediment to having closeness is lack of good, honest communication.
I can't (easily) broach difficult subjects...like, "Hey, why are we so distant?" without sounding accusatory, or something...
Sorry you hurt about it!
It'll all work out. Even if not in this life. (Yes, I'm a flake sometimes.)
Christy, thanks! I don't find you to be a flake, we are of like mind! I know it is all gonna play out exactly as planned, even if it's not this time around. Life is all about lessons...I have had more than my share. I too come across too brash most of the time...when it really matters I have no time for games, lay in on the line... :)
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