I haven't done a Wednesday quote post in a while and I thought maybe this would be the time to do so...here we go!
It is the highest form of self-respect to admit our errors and mistakes and make amends for them. To make a mistake is only an error in judgment, but to adhere to it when it is discovered shows infirmity of character. ~ Dale E. Turner
So the past few months have been pretty good to me...I am becoming a happier person again...at least happier compared to how I was last year! Anger is not an attractive quality...I am really learning to let it go...it feels good!
I realized this last weekend, the one of inebriation with old friends, that I am really a grudge holder, I also realized I am SO not alone!!! See I decided it was time to mend some bridges over the weekend, maybe the alcohol and the hot Florida sun got to me or maybe it was just the fact that I see the same people every year at this event, get irritated with them every year and to be honest was a bit tired of the cycle. Now you have to understand that I have known the people I was with for more than 13 years and to be honest some of my grudges were that old! I decided to lay it on the table, let the truth sit there, maybe I was making a big deal out of past events, perhaps I was the only one who took them with any seriousness! Bridge building...maybe bridges to nowhere but bridge building none the less!
It turns out I didn't have to work hard to put my mind at ease! One situation had bothered me for years and made me really dislike a specific brother in my Hubby fraternity. Now it didn't help that there was some "chemistry" between us once and there was a whole lot of "what ifs" at one time. Anyhow, years ago I saw him doing sometime he shouldn't have been doing, called him out on it and in return received a rash of shit for some of the brothers that included me being put in a room and yelled at for an extended period of time, needless to say at 18 it was a bit intimidating! I have been mad about this ever since because he lied, he denied it, freaking pissed me off!! He screwed up, I got yelled at, how does that work!! Anyhow we were all wasted and he asked why I didn't like him, I wasn't really sure bringing it up would be beneficial and to be honest I wasn't sure that he would remember, it was probably much more detrimental to me than him! After talking in circles for a good 15 minutes he finally came out with it...he knew why I was mad...the "incident"! Wow, after all this time!! And then shocker of all shockers he admitted what really happened and that he was sorry, well at least to a point, hey it was alot coming for him! Then one of the brothers that yelled at me apologized as well...I know it is stupid but it lifted a huge weight off my shoulders! The grudge was gone...damn it felt good!!
Things only got funnier in that he was sure that I was still unhappy with him because of "that night"....aww yes..."that night at ***'s house"....huh, wow, who would have thought he remembered that. See I remember "that night" with excruciating detail for a whole other reason. That was the night I "chose" my Hubby!! They were each making there intentions known and I chose my Hubby, best choice I ever made. I proceeded to tell that to this guy...I don't think he appreciated that...oops! I really thought he would never remember that! It proved to me that sometimes I am a bit paranoid...I tend to think I make more of a situation than there is...maybe not!! Anyhow, it felt good, it felt good to settle it...building a bridge! And next year I will be able to look at him, smile and walk on by...at least until I remember some other reason he pissed me off!!!!
