Wednesday, October 8, 2008

The Bridge to Nowhere!

I haven't done a Wednesday quote post in a while and I thought maybe this would be the time to do we go!

It is the highest form of self-respect to admit our errors and mistakes and make amends for them. To make a mistake is only an error in judgment, but to adhere to it when it is discovered shows infirmity of character. ~ Dale E. Turner

So the past few months have been pretty good to me...I am becoming a happier person least happier compared to how I was last year! Anger is not an attractive quality...I am really learning to let it feels good!

I realized this last weekend, the one of inebriation with old friends, that I am really a grudge holder, I also realized I am SO not alone!!! See I decided it was time to mend some bridges over the weekend, maybe the alcohol and the hot Florida sun got to me or maybe it was just the fact that I see the same people every year at this event, get irritated with them every year and to be honest was a bit tired of the cycle. Now you have to understand that I have known the people I was with for more than 13 years and to be honest some of my grudges were that old! I decided to lay it on the table, let the truth sit there, maybe I was making a big deal out of past events, perhaps I was the only one who took them with any seriousness! Bridge building...maybe bridges to nowhere but bridge building none the less!

It turns out I didn't have to work hard to put my mind at ease! One situation had bothered me for years and made me really dislike a specific brother in my Hubby fraternity. Now it didn't help that there was some "chemistry" between us once and there was a whole lot of "what ifs" at one time. Anyhow, years ago I saw him doing sometime he shouldn't have been doing, called him out on it and in return received a rash of shit for some of the brothers that included me being put in a room and yelled at for an extended period of time, needless to say at 18 it was a bit intimidating! I have been mad about this ever since because he lied, he denied it, freaking pissed me off!! He screwed up, I got yelled at, how does that work!! Anyhow we were all wasted and he asked why I didn't like him, I wasn't really sure bringing it up would be beneficial and to be honest I wasn't sure that he would remember, it was probably much more detrimental to me than him! After talking in circles for a good 15 minutes he finally came out with it...he knew why I was mad...the "incident"! Wow, after all this time!! And then shocker of all shockers he admitted what really happened and that he was sorry, well at least to a point, hey it was alot coming for him! Then one of the brothers that yelled at me apologized as well...I know it is stupid but it lifted a huge weight off my shoulders! The grudge was gone...damn it felt good!!

Things only got funnier in that he was sure that I was still unhappy with him because of "that night"....aww yes..."that night at ***'s house"....huh, wow, who would have thought he remembered that. See I remember "that night" with excruciating detail for a whole other reason. That was the night I "chose" my Hubby!! They were each making there intentions known and I chose my Hubby, best choice I ever made. I proceeded to tell that to this guy...I don't think he appreciated that...oops! I really thought he would never remember that! It proved to me that sometimes I am a bit paranoid...I tend to think I make more of a situation than there is...maybe not!! Anyhow, it felt good, it felt good to settle it...building a bridge! And next year I will be able to look at him, smile and walk on least until I remember some other reason he pissed me off!!!!


julie and joe said...

hello drama queen...are you really only 31? hmmm....anyway, wanted you to know i tagged you...go to my blog for the rules and sorry if you've already done this ya!

Ingot said...

I've just been posting about forgiveness, so the Wednesday "grudge" post seems appropos.

Actually, I think the path to forgiveness should be used on both sides of a grievance, and should include self-forgiveness.

I think a major betrayal with no admission or apology is grounds for decades of mistrust, even if you've forgiven the original crime.

Forgiveness and restoration of trust are two different issues.