Welcome back....

Thanks for coming back....still good today....long weekend ahead...hope to have something new for you on Monday!

When does "crazy" start?

Can a 3 year old be bipolar? I really need the answer to this!!!

I love my baby, I have a million times more patience for her than I ever did her sisters. I think part of that is knowing she is my last, I want to love on her all the time. But as the days go by I am starting to think she is just crazy!!

I mean really, I have a 10 year old, I know about moodiness, it is practiced regularly in my house, but this is different. Lil Miss Drama is a bit much. She is 3 1/2 years old, smart, loving and adorable, then for no reason two seconds later she is yelling at you for NO reason, I really mean NO reason!

Right now she is snuggled next to me quietly watching Backyardigans, two minutes ago, literally she was in full out meltdown mode because Ni Hao, Kai Lyn wasn't on. I understand little ones will do this, trust me, she is number 3, I get it. But it is like a switch inside her head, it's weird!!!

Now I admit, I have one of those switches too, but really at 3 I don't think so. Maybe she is just a primadonna...not that I blame her, she lives in the car driving from place to place, all about the big girls. Maybe she has earned the right to yell at us to assert herself!! Oh, the teen years are gonna be so fun, especially with since she will have two older sisters doing everything she can't!!

UGH....my head hurts thinking about it....

Welcome...

Just in case you wanted to know....I am good today...thanks for asking!!

"Did you look in the mirror?"

I need help!! I need advice!! Someone...anyone?

How do you teach a 10 year old girl fashion sense? I am not talking about off the runway fashion sense....I am talking you cannot wear two different plaids together fashion sense. Now I am definitely not a fashionista, I leave that to my 8 year old, sadly she made black fishnets and high boots look so cute I couldn't deny letting her go to school even knowing that every mother in the place was talking about what a terrible example I was setting. Anyways, back on topic...I love that my girls are unique individuals, but there is a difference between unique and just blatantly not getting it!!

I love my oldest, Miss Know It All, she is brilliant and beautiful and loves being the top of the class...do you see where this is going? I never want her to feel bad about herself but I know that once she gets to middle school dressing like that will get her on the short end of some really cruel jokes. I am at the end of my rope, maybe if she doesn't care I shouldn't care....well, it's a theory, just one I can't seem to embrace!

She doesn't like to shop, she only likes "comfortable" clothes, lives in her Converse (especially the ones that match nothing) and hates to style her hair.....really sounds like a dream huh? Except I am not ready to deal with the aftermath! I never wanted her to be that kids that HAD to have the name brand everything, I wanted her to be natural and self assured....oh hell, maybe I did too good of a job...now what??

Finally...

Okay...so after much playing I got my blog to look at least something like I want it to!!! Needless to say I LOVE all things retro so this is making me happy! Hoping to blog tomorrow seeing as I have wasted all my time today on the layout! :)

SO cliche....

Alright ladies and gentlemen, are you ready for it....."This is gonna hurt me worse than you". UGH!!! Yep, I said it, I am that mom!

I was very specific, I gave a list, I gave chances, I gave them time!! UGH!!! Why don't they listen? It seemed simple enough to me....get home, quick snack, do homework, clean rooms, then and only then you get to go to the skate party. Well I am sure you can see where this is going....

Home....check.

Snack....check.

Homework....check.

Cleaning rooms..."Oh, I forgot about that, I will do it now" (apparently webkinz, the bane of my existence, was more pressing)

WHY can't they listen? I want them to have fun, despite the fact that I wanted to be at the skating rink like I wanted a hole in my head seeing as I am sick. Well now it's time to stick to my guns, and if you know me as a mother you know that is not my strong suit!

Bawling ensued! Doors slammed! Loud grunts of discontent! All followed by the silence, the silence of two little girls trying desperately to clean their rooms in hopes that Mommy would once again change her mind.

Dinner was like watching a prisoner waiting to be sentenced, a prisoner with puffy red eyes. I want to cave, they did clean their rooms, I want to give in. Lucky for me my hubby can look right through them, no effect, it's at special talent he has developed, not sure if I am incapable of learning or just don't want to!

Let me just remind you that I am PTA President for my school, please trust me I say this not because it gives me any clout or any accolades but rather because it is a PTA event, I should be there! I am sick, yes, and I know it will be taken care of, but I still feel guilty. Thus this time I really do mean "This is gonna hurt me worse than you"!

So no skating tonight! Gotta go, need to get the "prisoners" ready to go to Hip Hop, the class they were gonna miss to go skating. I am sure this is adequate punishment!! ;)

I survived, barely....

Okay, so the weekend is over....I have not really been home in about a week, I don't count sleeping. My house definetely shows it!

This weekend was my induction into the world of competitive dance...what a "special" world it is. My journey bagan with a trek to Lakeland. Miss Sassy and I arrived in Lakeland at 9pm, only to have to go to a different hotel to drop off lipstick to a mom that was incapable of following the makeup list that was given to us in AUGUST! I mean it's really not that difficult, read what you are supposed to buy, go to the store that was mentioned, find the right color, pay and go home!!! NOT complicated, yet here it is February, the night before competition and I am bringing the lipstick to her, what is wrong with this picture!!

We finally arrive at our hotel, get Miss Sassy to sleep, I then have to stay up to sew the freaking caramel tights that I was never able to find, as well as the necklace that the foremention mother decided to fix for the younger kids on the team. See it's not that I am not appreciative but really my 8 year old could have done a better job, it looked terrible, even hubby noticed, that's says ALOT! Finally off to sleep...

Up at 7am to go help unload the props truck that all the men loaded the night before. Except I got lost at the civic center and was never able to find to the big huge UHaul truck full of massive props. So I was up early for nothing, might as well watch some solos, see what the day will be like. Nothing could truly prepare me....

Off to get Miss Sassy ready for her first dance....hair needed to be up perfectly in braided buns, it's fun to make an 8 year old sit still while you pull and rip at their hair to make sure there is no possible way it will fall out or stray hairs roaming around. Next was makeup, always fun to put mascara on the small child! Even more fun is the eye liner, who's bright idea was THAT!

So Miss Sassy competes after much drama of getting ready, not our drama, the aforementioned mother's drama that somehow I became thrust into, imagine that....me involved in drama, much less drama that had nothing to do with me!!

She did very good, we were SO proud! Then came the awards, well as all the kiddies were on stage one of the older girls from the company came to me in the audience profusely apologizing and letting me know that Miss Sassy was afraid because....wait for it....the caramel tights that I spent days of my time on got "snagged" on her belt as Miss Sassy was on her back. Oh yeah, see this were the drama follows me, I didn't invite it to come along it just appeared! I told her not to worry and to let Miss Sassy know not to be concerned. All was well, until......let's just say that snag is a very subjective word, ruined would have been a better choice! Here comes the irony of the whole situation......I immediately called my local dance store, seems she had in some of the tights I was looking for except they were adult smalls, but lucky for me they were made in Taiwan, which meant they did not fit the adults they were meant to but however did fit my eight year old. Now tell me why these were not available a week ago when I went to this same store to have her make me tights for competition! I give up!!! It all happens for a reason, I just don't know what the hell that reason is. Perhaps I should just sit back, shut up and go along for the ride!

What the HELL is a Meme?????

Alright so Karen tagged me for this meme. I have no idea what the hell a meme is but for the love of God here I am when I should be watching Supernatural with my husband on Valentine's Day filling it out....

The Four Things Meme

4 Jobs I have had:
Realtor Assistant
Secretary for Undergrad Admissions(there were some good times)
PTA President (don't laugh, it may no pay but the damn hours are the same!)
MOM (aka. everything to everyone)

4 places I've been:
Magic Kingdom
Epcot
MGM Studios (sorry my bad...Disney Hollywood Studios)
Animal Kingdom
....repeatedly :)

4 movies I've watched over and over:
10 Things I Hate About You
The Breakfast Club
Bed of Roses
Pretty in Pink

4 shows I watch:
currently....
Big Brother 9:Til Death Do Us Part
Lost
Supernatural
American Idol

4 places I'd rather be right now:
Disney Cruise Line..noticing a theme
Bald Head Island, NC
My pool in my backyard, that I have not yet had built
In a clean house

4 favorite things to eat:
Godiva Pumpkin Spice Truffles
Derby Pie
Chocolate Eclairs
California Pizza Kitchen Goat Cheese and Roasted Pepper Pizza with Applewood Bacon :)

4 places I've lived:
Louisville, KY
Venice, FL
Orlando, FL
Philadelphia, PA
Sarasota, FL (well, Lakewood Ranch)
Philadelpia, PA
Orlando, FL
Louisville, KY(well, temporarily)
Orlando, FL..oh I am sorry you only wanted four :)

4 Things I look forward to this year:
June 15th....it is gonna be a FABULOUS day!!!!!!
My 10th Anniversary
A Disney Cruise
Starting back to school

I would to hear what these four have to say: Yeah, well since I just started this gig I really don't know anyone to send it to so here it dies...sorry!

Bitter?

Hmmm....it has been brought to my attention that I sound perhaps a bit bitter in my blogs...let the therapy session for the day begin.

Let me first note that this comment was made by a man, the same man that claims I needed social stability. Now I am not saying he is inaccurate, maybe he just doesn't yet get the point of my blog, maybe it's because he doesn't always get the way girls think, doesn't matter, the point is I want to clarify.

I love my life, I dislike certains things in my life that I have to deal with (ie. the DRAMA), now granted I brought most of those things upon myself. See I have great friends, the ones that really count at least. I love being a mom. I wake up everyday knowing that I may have not been the best mom the day before but my girls love me and I love them. I would walk to the moon for them if they asked, well...just as soon as they clean their rooms to show me they deserve it. :) A majority of my day, my life, revolves around their every need, even becoming PTA President was in part due to the fact that I want them to be proud of me. See I know that one day they are going to hate me, my 10 year old is well on her way, so for now I am trying to lay the groundwork for us to eventually come out in the end as great friends. If this means I have to drive to karate, gymnastics and dance, if this means I have to be a Girl Scout leader, PTA President, Dance Company Mom, so be it, it will all be worth it. I am lucky to have a husband that is supportive, well except when he voted against me as PTA President, the only one note you. He thinks I am crazy, but he loves me, I love him.

But life is full of crap, I define that crap as DRAMA. This is my little spot in the world where I can gripe about such crap, I am venting, it makes me feel better, hell, it's free freaking therapy. So am I frustrated that I bring drama into my own life continuously, yes, but bitter I am not.....just to clarify, in case you were wondering. :)

A moment of clarity...

So today was mildly more productive despite catching a cold from my youngest. I wonder why they call it "catching a cold"? There is not catching involved, she didn't throw it to me, I gave her a kiss goodnight, hmm. Sorry, I digress.

I was thinking today about the newspaper from my senior year in which they declared I would sell my life story to Soap Opera Digest, in that newspaper was also our senior wills. Did any of your schools have these? We were an odd school, maybe it was just us. Anyhow, the gist was that senior lefts things, material and idological, to others, it was written in the school newspaper. So I am a dork and I still have mine. I went back and browsed through and was amused by some of the things left to me: happiness, antiseptic for life's little cuts and social stability. Well then...huh. What exactly does this say about ones' self? We like to think that we grow as individuals in the many years after high school (12 and counting), I am afraid that may not be the case for me. I pride myself on the fact that circumstances in my life have not changed me, I have not become someone I was not, I have not slipped into the dark abyss of changing to meet others needs, although I know I have come DAMN close. I am beginning to wonder if this is a good thing that I have clung so tightly to my sense of being.

Social stability, who would say something like that you ask, my best friend...and yes, still my best friend to this day, back to the clinging to things, not changing, apparently it's a theme. Again what does this say about me? The fact that the person closest to me felt that I was lacking in the ability to maintain social realtionships. Sadly he would probably say the same today. I told you before I am not a nice person, I am not mean, I just put up with very little, life is too short. I am blessed to not have to work, I get to stay home with my kids, and as one of my friends likes to say, yes I do have friends, "I do not get paid, I do not have to deal with any of you people." I don't think of this as a bad thing.

So now comes my moment of clarity.....I am okay with all of it, I question it some days - if the people that have it all together and have a million friends are doing the "right" thing. I just think it's right for them. Leave me with my snide comments and my sarcasm, I am happy here and I am good with it!

The first step...

Today was....let's say...unproductive. Tuesday is the only day during the week that I don't have thirty things to do. I woke up feeling very motivated, there are plenty of things on my list that NEED to get done, but none sounded very entertaining today, so here we are...unproductive.

Perhaps it's because yesterday, Monday, was the longest day of the week for me, that added on top of the stress of my husband being out of town plus dance drama I felt like I deserved a day off. The current question on my mind is do I create the drama or does it find me?

Who knew that my eight year old being on a competive dance team could make me cry, I didn't?! See when you are on company they give you a list of things you need for competition, it's a long list. So I figured I had till February, no rush, buy a little at a time. HA! I should have known, I should have seen it coming. The hotels for competitions in June were booked in September, I should have gotten the hint, apparently I am slow. Here it is February 5th, first competition is 10 days away and I am still in search of some damn caramel stirrup tights that apparently the entire state of freaking FL is out of. I have resorted to looking for places in NJ for my husband hunt down while on his trip, because that sounds like so much more fun than going into the city and drinking with his friends. So far this week I have spent $60 to get four pairs of caramel conversion tights express mailed to me, because you see there is a difference in stirrup and conversion...they cannot be interchanged, nor are they to be confused with footed tights, caramel color of course. Do I seem frustrated? That would be because I have spent no less than 5 hours in search of these freaking tights that I need by Sunday, not to mention the shoes, also caramel, that are one size too big. This is for an eight year old in case you missed that. See I am new to company this year, I wondered early in the year why everyone kept asking me if I got my f**king tights/shoes/makeup. Damn nosey moms, worry about your own kids, not mine...except oh, maybe this is why they kept asking, who knew that dance could be so much drama...oh yeah, the seasoned moms!!! Well I am sure I will do my part next year and ask the new incoming moms 10 times if they have their tights/shoes/makeup, when they roll their eyes at me I will walk away with a little smirk knowing that come February they will have wished they listened...aw, next year!

To answer the question this time...do I create the drama or does it find me? Oh yeah, all on me, creator of my own demise! Admitance is the first step.

Let me explain.....

In high school I was given the title of the person most likely to make her fortune selling her life story to Soap Opera Digest. See I have ALWAYS been surrounded by drama, it is drawn to me, or perhaps it is the other way around, I like to think it is somewhere in the middle. The fact that I have three little girls does not in any way help this situation. I blame it on my parents I was born into drama, I believe whole heartedly this is a nuture not nature thing!

On that note let me say that I am currently the PTA president at my daughters' elementary school, a girl scout leader, one daughter is on a karate demo team, another is on a dance team, no drama in any of those of course!! I do think that I have myself to blame for all of those!

I tell you all this because it will give you insight into my future rambling as I vent my frustrations. Unfortunately I have put myself in the position of having to be nice to people pretty much all the time, "shiny, happy, sparkly", the problem with that is I am not a nice person, I am a bitch, I make no apologies, my friends like to say I am "blunty honest", pertutally irritated" and "rough around the edges." Can't you tell they love me!!!

So I am not making apologies or excuses for my future blogs but rather informing you as the reader you may not like me, it's okay, because I probably wouldn't like you either! :)