Flaws...

I am a person of many flaws, I accept and embrace them most days. Today I am thinking about one flaw that I am not so proud of....I SUCK at maintaining friendships!

I am blessed to have friends that understand this about me for the most part and they are good with it, or at least pretend to be. I don't call, I don't email, I am ALWAYS late with presents...so one would ask...why be my friend? Well I am a loyal to a fault, I am there when truly needed and I really do love those close to me.

I bring this up because it was brought to my attention in two different forms this week. I will start with the one from today...I received a message on my myspace from a newer friend, one that I do enjoy, married to my best friend, who happens to be of the male gender. See she wrote me a month ago....I still haven't written back...yes, I know I should be doing that instead of writing this but that is the point. The response is one that requires time, energy and quiet...none of those things happen often in my house, they are truly rare moments. It's not that I don't want to write back, but this is a new friendship, I am not sure if I can make room for a new friendship right now...how do I say that? How do I tell someone that wants to be my friend that I can't keep up with the ones I have? This, this blog, is how I am currently doing that, if you want to know what is going on in my life...read my blog, how sad is it that I can only find time to talk to friends in mass now!

Second incident is a bit more telling....I have a friend, a VERY good friend, she lives 45 minutes away, I see her about 2-3 times a year. The last time I saw her was the first of December at her house. While there my child lost her shoes, yes, she has a huge house! Anyways, just before Christmas she found the shoes, left me a message telling me. I had every intention of calling her back, my intentions are always good. Needless to say I didn't. It is now the first of March...I look out my window, DHL truck, don't see them too much here, no doorbell, must not have been for me. Hubby went out an hour later, there was a package on my doorstep, I look at the sender, it was my friend, what could she have possibly sent me? It's like Christmas only late....aw, yes, that's right, THE SHOES.....no note, just the shoes, message received, I SUCK!!! And just as my life goes things only got funnier in the fact that the shoes no longer fit the small child that lost them!

It was my resolution this year to make more time for the people that matter, yet here it is March and I have spent more time dealing with irrelevant people and irrelevant circumstances, getting frustrated instead of relaxing with the ones that I truly want to spend my days with! As I have said before the first step is acknowledgement....where do I go from here? Perhaps off to write that letter and call my friend to let her know...shoes and message both received!