RIP Bob...

So for Miss Sassy's 8th bday one of her friends bought her hermit crabs, yes, the mother did ask before buying them, apparently I was too doped up on crack, just an expression people, that day and said okay. Anyhow, I assumed the hermit crabs had a short lived life, shouldn't be a big deal, right? As Miss Sassy was busy looking at her new pets I was busy reading the outside of the box for their new home, apparently these nasty little creatures live up TEN years, are you freaking kidding me? The mother who bought these did not inform me of this, is it too late to give them back?...."Mommy, this one is Bob and this one is Melissa"...aw, hell, she gave them names already, they now belong to lucky old us, for up to ten years, meaning they will die right before she goes to college, somewhere God was laughing at me that day!

That was six months ago...honestly, the creatures don't bother me that much anymore because I never see them, they hide ALL the time. And really they make no noise compared to the squeaky wheel of the hamster cage, the crying of the two cats, the barking of the dog, the constant fan noise from the fish tank and the loud yelling for the three children, they really were becoming more and more likeable every day, as long as they stay in their cage!

Then yesterday morning the inevitable happened, we hear a very loud cry though our bedroom door at 7:20am, "BOB is dead"! Still very drowsy, hubby and myself look at one another, let the news set in for a moment, smiled a little more than we should, jumped out of bed to comfort Miss Sassy. We go to said cage, there are what appears to be pieces of Bob strewn about the cage, large claws, small shreds, it's not pretty. Hubby hands me the pieces, we put them in a cup. We then explain to Miss Sassy that one of two things may have happened, one there is NO water in their cage, possibly a problem, or two Melissa decided to rip apart and eat Bob, well we said it nicer. Miss Sassy swore she saw Bob still in his shell, just really hidden, we discounted this with a look of "I don't think so." She asked to leave his shell in the cage, sure, why not!

Miss Sassy was VERY upset, she is an animal lover, wants to be a vet, she took it hard, I emailed her teacher to let her know that Miss Sassy may have a hard day. Her teacher is an amazing woman, she pulled Miss Sassy aside and gave her lots of love, a stuffed animal and made her feel better, she herself is an animal lover and understood, unlike me, "it's a damn hermit crab!" Okay, maybe I wasn't that mean, but I was thinking it!

Miss Sassy came home from school, wanted to bury Bob, or what was left of him. I told her we would tomorrow, now today, I am great at putting things off! This morning as I was finishing writing the blog before this about cleaning (btw, I had planned on cleaning the crab cage yesterday while she was in school, never got to it), I hear another yell from the top of the stairs "Mommy, BOB is ALIVE!" What, you say? Needless to say, I go upstairs again, thinking Miss Sassy is now hallucinating. Except I'll be damned Bob's shell was moving! Oh, Melissa had to have just moved to Bob's shell, except she is in her shell too! WTH....Bob is alive, I can't find his claws, as he is hiding again, but he is alive. Obviously Miss Sassy is now ecstatic...."I told you he was still in his shell, you didn't listen to me." Damn, kid, when did she go and get so smart! So no burial for Bob, apparently we have another 9 years and 6 months together, oh the joys!!!